by Mike Jones

Effective communication is a highly valuable skill. It enriches our personal and social lives. In business it's a matter of life and death. This article will show us how we can gain almost instant rapport with whoever we meet whether in person or through writing.

THREE MODES

In recent years, much has been learned about the way the human brain processes information. The memories we have, the way we perceive experiences, are controlled by our visual, auditory and kinesthetic abilities. Everything in our minds is there primarily due to what we see, hear and feel. Remember these three modalities, they are VERY important. Again, they are VISUAL, AUDITORY, KINESTHETIC.

These three modes combine in any learning or communication process. We use all of them to a degree. However, research indicates that with the majority of us, one of those modes is more dominant than others. Do you like to learn by watching, looking at diagrams or training videos? Probably you are more visually oriented. Do you prefer to be told through the spoken word? Or are you the kind that likes to get his hands on the subject and starting doing, learning through a process of experimentation? Then you are probably more of an auditory or kinesthetic.

If this is true of us, it is true of the other person. What if you knew which kind of mode is dominant in the person you are talking or writing to? Could that help build rapport or in some way make communication more effective? YOU BET! Companies have spent thousands of dollars educating their salesmen to utilize this knowledge. The results? Dramatic!

How can you apply this very valuable insight? By taking special note of the words and phrases your prospect uses. People often uses expressions that indicate which modality they are thinking in at that moment. For example, "I see what you mean", "I hear you", "I've got a feeling about this". When you hear these expressions, sit up, take note. They are sign posts pointing to that person's modality.

So you have the sign posts, what do you do now? You respond in the same manner. Start using expressions in that person's dominant modality. Why should this work? Because words convey ideas to the other person's mind. You start communicating on the other person's wavelength. Just like to modems making an internet connection, your two brains start 'hand shaking'. The effect is amazing. Skeptical? That's understandable. Just start and try it and you won't be any longer.

REAL LIFE EXAMPLE

Here is a true life experience. A close friend of mine has a very successful business as a financial advisor. He read up on this subject and started employing these methods. One day he walked into the office of a manager interested in a pension plan. My friend noticed many beautiful pictures on the manager's office walls. He commented on them and gave an honest compliment. The manager used expressions like "let me show you", "you must see this". My friend immediately picked up on this and realized the manager was a visual.

When the time came for him to make his presentation, he started off by saying, "Let me first give you the big picture" and with that he pulled out a diagram. The manager immediately leaned over and started closely scrutinizing the pension plan. From there on it went like a dream. The rapport was established early on. The manager began to think "I like this man, I can do business with him." A very good plan was devised which suited the manager's needs well and both parties were happy - the manager with his plan, my friend with his commission. A win win ending.

Don't underestimate the power of communicating in the other person's preferred mode.

Now, how can you apply this in your business? Do you write ad copy or sales letters? Do you do face to face selling or telephone selling? Sprinkle your words with phrases from each mode and see how the prospect responds. If they respond with similar expressions, you have identified their mode.

KEY WORDS & PHRASES - THE SIGN POSTS

Here is a list of words and phrases to help you identify a dominant modality:

VISUAL

crystal clear
focused
flash
hazy
sight for sore eyes
up front
it appears to me
get a bird's eye view
it looks like
in the mind's eye
you get the picture
it's clear cut
take a dim view
suffer from tunnel vision
with the naked eye

AUDITORY

that rings a bell
I'm all ears
certain overtones
harmonize
make myself heard
tuned in
that's unheard of
to tell the truth
in a manner of speaking
gave him an earful
listen up
tongue-tied
described in detail
sounds like
just say it

KINESTHETIC

I'm conscious of
you can sense
she perceived
lay your cards on the table
come to grips with it
that's a pain in the neck
pull some strings
hang in there
touch base with
what it boils down to
start from scratch
that was under handed
hold on
you need to experience it
in a moment of panic

These lists are just to get you started. There are an abundance of signals out there in the way people express themselves. You just need to "read the signs", "hear the bell ring" and "grasp the meaning" behind the words your prospect is using, either in written or spoken form.

Rapport is almost priceless. Agreements, contracts, big business deals are often concluded between people because they sense a bonding between them. Develop and practice this essential communication skill and your life and business will take on new vitality!

Mike Jones writes regularly in The High Achievers Journal. Subscribe to receive great articles on creativity, communication skills, marketing strategies, speed learning,image building. highachievers-subscribe@egroups.com

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