Taking Control, Part Two
Control Consists of Three Parts: Start, Change and Stop
"Control consists entirely of starting, changing and stopping. There are no other factors in positive control. If one can start something, change its position in space or existence in time and stop it, all at will, he can be said to control it, whatever it may be. If one can barely manage to start something, can only with difficulty continue its change of position or existence in time and if one can only doubtfully stop something, he cannot be said to control it well, and for our purposes he would be said to be able to control it poorly or dangerously. If he cannot start something, if he cannot change its position in space, if he cannot stop something, then he is definitely not in control of it." -- L. Ron Hubbard
Starting, Changing and Stopping Others
If you are in a management position or a parent, you know how difficult it is to control others. Yet when you control people properly, they admire and respect you.
People feel satisfied when you control them properly. You start them, allow them to make the change and then stop them when they are finished.
"Jill, please bring me the red pen ..." (Start) "... and put it right there." (Change) "Thank you very much." (Stop)
People get upset when you mess up any of the three points.
For example, if a business does not start its employees by telling them when they should start, people just start work when they get around to it. The late starters irritate the prompt starters. Some might not start at all. The business is a messy confusion.
As well as not telling people when to start, they get upset if you prevent them from starting.
"We'll have that new computer any day. You just need to be patient and wait."
"We want to hire you, but I'm not sure when you can start. Maybe days, maybe months ..."
"Your home loan has been approved, but the money can't be distributed for a while."
So if you want to control a group or an individual, you need to give a clean "START" and then let them get on with it. "Arrive by 7:55 AM each day, punch in your time card, be at your desk at 8:00 AM and start working."
Once you start someone, you create problems if you prevent the change portion of the cycle. For example, you tell one of your staff members, "Dave, please sweep up this room."
Just as he gets out the broom, you say, "Dave, you need to file these papers right now."
After he files a few papers, you say, "Hurry Dave, go get me a box!"
You earn better cooperation if you let people complete the change without interruption.
"Dave, please sweep up this room."
"That looks very good, thank you."
"Dave, now file these papers."
"All done? Very good."
"Now please get a box for these files."
"Thank you."
If you must interrupt the person, give him or her priorities. "Dave, I know I told you to sweep up the room, but that'll have to wait. Right now, I really need these papers filed so I can ship the files."
The final mistake you can make when controlling people is not stopping them. For example, you fail to notice they are done and do not acknowledge them for finishing. If you do not stop people, they may tend to keep working on the project indefinitely.
"You swept up the room very well."
"The files look good, thank you." "Thanks, that box will be fine."If you don't stop the cycle, you lose control. By cleanly stopping the cycle, you complete your control on that matter. People are now open to your next cycle of control. You are in charge.
When people discover that you cleanly start, change and stop them, you can ask and obtain more and more from them. You can issue complicated instructions, long lists of tasks and long-term projects. They feel comfortable with your control as they know you will let them complete the work and acknowledge them when they are done.
Some people believe you need to use fear, force or threats to control people. The government and certain institutions get a bad reputation for using fear and threat. This type of control makes you feel like you are a slave.
A business manager runs into trouble when he tries the same type of control. His or her employees revolt!
Fortunately, you will find that using the information in this article will put you in much better control than fear, force or threats. Simply start, change and stop people, cheerfully, cleanly and consistently.
Exercise
1. Write down the name of someone you want to control.
2. Write what end result you want the person to accomplish.
3. Plan how you will:
3. A. Start him or her.
3. B. Allow or direct the needed changes or activities.
3. C. Bring him or her to a stop.
4. Finally, you follow the steps of your plan.
Example 1
1. You want to control your 10-year-old son, Joey. He throws a tantrum every time you tell him to clean his room.
2. You want Joey to clean up his room when you ask and without any drama.
3. Plan how you will:
3. A. You will get him to start by agreeing on a time to start. "Joey, in 10 minutes, I'd like you to start cleaning up your room. Is that okay with you?"
3. B. You will direct the change part of the cycle by watching and helping, as needed. "You're doing a good job Joey. Let's look under the bed now ... "
3. C. You acknowledge his good work. "Joey, that is a really clean room! You deserve a cookie for that!"
4. You then follow your plan. Joey calms down, cleans his room and gets his cookie.
Example 2
1. The only person who understands your computer is also a jerk. Russ is constantly complaining about your equipment, your poor understanding of computers and your staff's inability to operate the system correctly.
He says things like, "I can't believe you guys messed this up again!" "If you took a minute to read the manual, I wouldn't have to stop what I was doing to fix this." "When are you going to replace this piece-of-crap computer?"
2. The end result that you want is that Russ does his job and leaves you alone.
3. Plan how you will:
3. A. You decide on ways to get Russ to start things. "Russ, instead of showing up sometime this week, can you come at 10:30 on Wednesday?" "Before you start, I need to talk to you." "Okay, Russ. Go ahead and get started."
3. B. You plan on how to change Russ during the cycle. "Russ, here, have a donut." "Russ, I know our equipment is old and we don't know what we're doing. Would you mind talking about something else?"
3. C. You plan on how to stop Russ. "Russ, can you stop for a minute and show me where that feature is in the manual?" "Russ, can you finish by noon as we need to lock up the office." "Russ, you did a great job. I'll take it from here. Thanks."
4. You implement your plan with Russ. At first, he is resistive to your control. But you persist and gain small pieces of control until you are successfully starting, changing and stopping Russ. You are soon in control of the relationship.
So start your list. Who would you like to control?
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