Taking Control, Part Four
If You Try to Control People or Things Outside Your Sphere of Operation, You Fail
"However, control in itself is not an entire answer to everything, for if it were one would have to be able to control everything, not only in his own job, but in an office or on earth, before he could be happy. We discover in examining control that the limits of control should be extended only across one's actual sphere of operation. When an individual attempts to extend control far beyond his active interest in a job or in life he encounters difficulty.
"Thus there is obviously another factor involved than control. This factor is willingness not to control and is fully as important as control itself." -- L. Ron Hubbard, from the book The Problems of Work.
Parents, bosses, spouses, colleagues or co-workers sometimes try to control you beyond their sphere of operation. For example, when parents try to control your beliefs, your career choices or your marriage, you might feel upset.
When the manager of Department A tries to control employees in Department B, problems come up. As long as he sticks to controlling his sphere of operation, which is Department A, all is well.
You may have felt overwhelmed in the past when you tried to control something that was not part of your sphere of operation. If it is not your responsibility, why bother?
For example, a business owner was overwhelmed and stressed out. His consultant, who uses L. Ron Hubbard's material, had him list all the things he was concerned about.
● Business income was down.The client was trying to fix all of these problems, but without success.
The consultant pointed out only the first problem was in his sphere of operation. His income was low because he was not spending much time working. All the other problems were outside his zone.
The landlord had scheduled a roofer.
The son was twenty years old and now on his own.
While the client was the former president of his community club, he no longer was in charge. He was just a member.
The accountant was negotiating a deal with the Internal Revenue Service and didn't feel the client needed to pay the overdue tax.
While it would be wonderful if the client could control all of these problems, he needed to change his mind and let others control them.
As soon as he realized this, he relaxed. He focused on his income and soon solved the first problem.
The landlord installed the new roof.
He started to treat his son as an adult who could take care of himself. His son realized he was responsible for his own success, good or bad, and started doing better in college.
He quit the club, to his great relief.
His accountant eventually solved the IRS problem.
Sometimes people try to make you control things outside your zone of operation. You must refuse.
For example, someone asks you for a loan to pay his bills. You say, "While I'm sorry you can't pay your bills, I'm not going to pay them for you. You need to solve this yourself."
Your sister sees your grandson watching television during a family gathering and tells you to go turn off the TV. You say, "I agree my grandson shouldn't watch so much TV, but he's my daughter's son, not mine."
Your boss asks you to go fix the sales problem with another department. You say, "Even though I'm the domestic sales manager, I'll be happy to fix the international sales department ... if you promote me to Vice President of Worldwide Sales."
Recommendations
1. Make a list of areas in your life that are difficult for you to control.
2. Make another list of things that bother you.
3. Circle items on both list that are outside your sphere of operation.
4. Decide if you are willing to not try to control them.
5. Stop trying to control them. Instead, work on the things you can control on your two lists above.
For example, a coworker slurps his coffee each morning. It drives you crazy! You drop hints and make jokes, but he still slurps away. The stress is unbearable.
You realize the coworker's noise is outside your sphere of operation and stop all efforts to make him stop slurping. You focus on your job instead. You soon realize [you] don't care about the slurping noise any longer. No more stress!
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