Your Biggest Source of Trouble and Anxiety (Part 3 of 4)
You probably know a person or two who appears kind and polite. Who convince you they are on your side. Yet who make your work and life difficult. This is the antisocial person.
When you are associated with an antisocial person, you roller coaster. You feel good one day and badly the next. You are productive and efficient one week, but then waste time and get nothing done the next week.
Abraham Lincoln was known for his mood swings. Sometimes he was energetic, ambitious and cheerful. Other times, he was withdrawn, exhausted and unable to sleep. According to his son, Winston Churchill was also on a roller coaster: forceful, energized and brilliant one day, depressed and drinking the next. Imagine how much more these men would have accomplished if they had been stable.
Businesses are also prone to ups and downs because of antisocial people. One week your productivity and income is doing very well. The next, you have major problems.
Marriages and families go through the same ride. Happy and loving one month, unfriendly and argumentative the next month. Someone is messing up your family and spouse relationships.
Luckily, you can handle the negative people in your life. You can take control of your progress. You can have a stable, steadily improving business, career, marriage, family and life.
The first step is to recognize who is causing you trouble and what they are up to.
In two previous articles, we outlined three characteristics of the Antisocial Personality.
Here is another way to identify the types of people you do not want as friends or associates.
No Improvement
"A characteristic, and one of the sad things about an antisocial personality, is that it does not respond to treatment or reform..." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, while most people find a walk to be refreshing, even therapeutic, an Antisocial Person complains about walks. "I don't enjoy walks ... just look at all that polluted air ... the city needs to do something about those weeds ... you shouldn't be outside for so long."
Improving life circumstances, like moving to a better home or learning a new skill, makes most people happier, but not an antisocial. He or she does not change for the better. No matter how hard you try to help the antisocial person's performance, management skills or productivity, nothing changes.
You can waste years trying to make an antisocial kind, considerate or supportive with no change. For example, antisocials will beat their wives or kids until someone threatens them. They pretend they have changed and then start the beatings again.
He or she might be the constant complainer who refuses to pay, the critic who is never happy, the whiner who threatens to leave. He or she might act kind and thoughtful, while stabbing you in the back.
If you open your eyes and face the truth, you eventually realize you cannot help the person, no matter how hard you try.
The opposite characteristic is true of the social personality.
"It is often enough to point out unwanted conduct to a social personality to completely alter it for the better." -- L. Ron Hubbard
If You Think You Might Be an Antisocial Person, Don't Worry
"Self-criticism is a luxury the antisocial cannot afford. Only the sane, well-balanced person tries to correct his conduct." -- L. Ron Hubbard
For example, a father finds a broken vase and asks his 7-year-old son, "Who broke the vase? Did you break it?" His son says, "No, I didn't!" The father gets angry and spanks him for breaking a vase and then lying about it.
His wife comes into the room with a broom and says, "I need to clean up the vase I broke."
The social person would say, "Son, I'm sorry for not believing you. I'll try to be more trusting in the future. I owe you a big pizza and ice cream, okay?"
The antisocial personality might say, "The kid deserved the spanking for something else he probably did. You need to show these kids who's boss."
Just about anyone can be made to act like an antisocial if he or she is pushed hard enough by someone else. The key is whether or not the person changes back to being a social personality.
If you are a social person and want to improve your conduct, you will. One simple approach is to act the opposite of an antisocial.
1. Avoid using generalized statements.
2. Relay good news more quickly than bad news; even block criticism and irrelevant bad news.
3. Make sure your facts are as accurate as possible.
You and those around you will be happier as a result.
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