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Throughout the universe, much remains unknown. Yet, nothing tangible or conceptual is unknowable to the conscious mind. But with human emotions, certain specific feelings in a person can never be known or experienced by others. For all human emotions are products of individual characters based on unique fingerprint combinations of physical and psychological natures. That means personal, unique experiences cannot be duplicated by others. Thus, any emotion in any individual person can never be exactly understood or fully known by any other person.
Recognizing one's inability to know certain emotional experiences in others is particularly useful in romantic-love relationships. Two important emotional experiences that cannot be cross-experienced or fully known between men and women are identified below:
A man can never fully know the feelings, sensations, and emotions of a woman being penetrated during intercourse. Likewise, a woman can never fully know the feelings, sensations, and emotions of a man penetrating a woman. That eternal mystery of feelings further deepens between a man and a woman when they try to comprehend the feelings of orgasm in the other.
That eternal, unsolvable mystery between the sexes enhances the pleasure and excitement of a love relationship as each partner struggles to get closer to the other's feelings and experiences. But they can never close the gap. Never can the feelings of orgasm in one partner be known or felt by the other partner. And for romantic-love partners, that elusive mystery is delightfully maddening and eternally challenging. That unknown quality can forever keep the heterosexual[ 80 ] experience fresh, haunting, and mysterious. Men and women can only imagine the feelings and emotions in the other, always wondering yet never knowing how distant their imaginations are from reality.
A number of exclusive male or female emotions and experiences can never be fully experienced across sexual boundaries. Two examples are illustrated below:
An implicit, constant physical threat toward women exists from essentially every man. That threat exists because the different physical and psychological natures of man and woman leave most men with the power literally to kill any woman at any time. Even smaller, weaker men could kill most bigger, stronger women in a bare-hand fight to the death. Thus, most women are perpetually at the physical mercy of men.
Under that threat, women often must silently take the degradation of being bullied or treated as sex objects as their earned qualities are ignored. No man can fully know that particular degradation because he has no way of duplicating the conditions which create that uniquely female situation. Even if the man were unjustly treated as a sex object, he would still have no way of knowing the woman's feelings. For unlike women, his different physiological, psychological, and social orientations do not leave him under a constant, implicit death threat.
A strong emotion felt by highly productive men is the desire for a peaceful core to counterbalance their aggressively assertive lives. That desire usually relates to a woman with whom such a man is free to retreat from his battlefield actions to experience peaceful love, tenderness, serenity. For only during that precious time is he free to fully expose and share his soul exclusively with another human being -- his woman. During those moments, that woman becomes to him a supreme value.
Ironically, the strongest, most productive, independent men have the greatest need and capacity to receive a woman's love, support, and tenderness. Tragically, however, many such men never recognize or admit, even to themselves, that supremely important emotional need and pleasure. Similarly, strong men often never admit to other emotional needs such as being free to cry when suffering great sadness or pain. ...A man crying has been erroneously viewed as a weakness or unmanly.
Many women are unaware of the need in productive men for a peaceful, private world containing a one-woman love. But women who understand that need hold a key for delivering powerful values and happiness to their men and to themselves. Understanding and filling the need for a peaceful, reflective core in aggressively productive men is among the most powerful of all binding ingredients in romantic-love relationships.
Aggressively productive women also have a need to periodically retreat into peaceful reflection. Yet, that need does not comprise the same psychosexual emotions as within men because of the inherent psychological and physiological differences between men and women.
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[ 80 ] The homosexual experience of male-male or female-female intercourse cannot really simulate the exclusive male-female experience. Homosexuals fail to simulate heterosexual experiences not only because of the obvious physiological differences, but because of the profound psychological differences involved between the homosexual act and the heterosexual act. Even when the physical actions are the same (such as oral sex), the wide psychological differences between men and women preclude similarities in emotional experiences.
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