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THE PROCESS OF COMMUNICATION

It should be so simple to communicate. We talk; they listen. We write; they read. We ask; they answer. We explain; they understand. It all sounds simple. But it isn't. Consider what really happens when we try to communicate:

Step One: The Message
Communication begins with a thought, an idea, or information we want to send to one another. The thought, idea, information - the message - has meaning to us. It is the meaning we want to send.

Unfortunately, many of us rush to begin communicating before we have fully thought through our message. We begin to speak or write before we have answered three most critical questions: What exactly is the message we want to send? Why do we want to send it? Who do we want to receive it? Even worse, most of us have multiple messages we wish to send, often to the same person and often at the same time. Some of these messages are important.  Some are trivial. Some are simple, some complex. Some are routine, some are controversial. In our rush to communicate, we may send all of these messages at once in a confusing, bewildering flow.  

Step Two: Encoding the Message
Another problem with the message - the meaning - we want to send is that we can't send it directly. We can't plug their mind into our mind. To convey our message, we have to use symbols - written or spoken words, pictures, sounds, physical gestures, and movements. Yet none of these symbols are precise. They never represent a perfect match with the thought, ideas, information, or message we hold in our mind. Although we may try for the exact word or phrase or illustration, inevitably the symbol we choose to represent our thought is less than perfect. Words are a particular problem. We must use words to communicate, but meanings for the words we use are in the people hearing or seeing them, not in the words themselves. And the same word can have so many possible meanings. It has been estimated that the five hundred most commonly used words in the English language have an average of twenty-eight different meanings each. Consider, for example, the many possible meanings of the word charge. I can
• Charge you a fee
• Charge your purchase
• Charge the battery in your car
• Charge you with responsibilities
• Charge your horse up a hill
• Get a charge out of your joke
• Place a charge under you and blow you up

I can even charge you with a crime.

Even at this early stage of communication, some of the meaning in our message is lost simply because of the imperfection of language and symbols.

Step Three: The Medium
To convey our message, we must have a medium - a channel or path over which our message will travel from us to them. We speak and sound waves carry our voice to their cars. We write and the paper and ink become the medium. There are hundreds of possible mediums for carrying our message. Some mediums are personal - the confidential memo, the private discussion. Some are public - the announcement in a public meeting, the notice in the company newsletter.  But no medium is neutral. Each adds a "message" to our message. A whisper carries its own meaning above and beyond the words whispered. So does a shout. In fact, the medium can overpower the message. It's true - as the saying goes - the medium is the "message."

If the medium we choose is conversation, the words we use may have less to do with the message we convey than how we speak those words and our mannerisms while we are speaking. Many communication experts believe that as much as 80 to 85 percent of the real message conveyed in a conversation comes from non-verbal clues (our expression, posture, tone of voice, and so on) and not from the words spoken.  To test this theory, a communication expert once went through a wedding receiving line smiling, nodding, shaking hands, and saying, "I shot my husband this morning." Members of the wedding party simply smiled back, shook hands, and said, "Thank you so much, we're so glad you could come."

Step Four: Decoding
Before our message can have meaning to the recipient, it must be decoded. Our listener, reader, employee, customer - the person to whom we are trying to convey our meaning must interpret our words, pictures, gestures. To each, he or she adds meaning - and not necessarily the meaning we intended. Perhaps the words we choose don't mean the same to them. Perhaps we have chosen specialized symbols - jargon, pictures, illustrations they don't understand. Perhaps they filter out part of our message so they hear only what they want to hear. Perhaps, due to noise, they miss key words. We choose a formal public medium - the public announcement - for convenience. They interpret our choice as "cold" and "insensitive." Worse, most people are poor listeners.  They become passive, go into neutral - and truly absorb by some estimates as little as 25 percent of what they hear. While we are speaking at the rate of 100 to 200 words per minute, they are thinking at 1,000 to 2,000 words a minute - ten times our speaking rate. With all of that extra time, they begin to jump ahead, make assumptions - fill in what they think we are going to say. They may be rehearsing their response or just daydreaming. As a result, they can miss, mix, or confuse what we have said. We say: "Pick us up on flight 230 at 4:30." They hear: "Come to the airport at 2:30 to meet flight 430."

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