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"I really want to experience psychuous pleasures," my father echoed.
Searching for that great experience, some people try to get involved too quickly in deep romantic relationships. The possible penalties of pressing for deep involvement too quickly include losing a potential romantic-love partner or unnecessarily wasting an irreplaceable portion of one's life by locking into a time-wasting destructive relationship.
Many initial approaches to romantic love are possible: Some start hot and flaming, others start cool and conservatively. But the way a romantic relationship starts is usually unimportant because romantic love evolves through the exchange of mutually beneficial values. Therefore, any initial, honest approach is good and normally does not determine the outcome. ...What determines the success of a relationship is the creation and growth of mutually beneficial values.
By applying Neotech, you increase your Life-Lifting Capacity, which is a powerful attraction. Life-Lifting Capacity means providing the exciting environment that helps our loved ones discover and fulfill their own unrealized capacities and potential. With that capacity, you can lift a potential, romantic-love partner to new experiences and growth.
"And what about commitment?" my father asked.
The only commitment you ever need to make in romantic love is a commitment to honesty and growth. If a relationship grows out of honest free-choice, the values accumulate naturally. The relationship then increasingly forms a self-chosen permanence. If growth continues, the relationship can gain unbreakable strength and permanence. If growth stops, the relationship can benevolently end with most of the accumulated values retained by you and your ex-partner. As a result, you and your ex-partner will have expanded your capacities for future relationships. In addition, the benevolent termination of a value-oriented relationship can, if the partners so choose, remain open to possible changes that would allow resumption of growth and the relationship.
Romantic love never occurs automatically or by chance. Life values are earned through honest efforts. That means constant, conscious efforts orchestrated in full accord with reality. As with all important values, romantic love and psychuous pleasures demand thought, effort, and time to develop. The positive values generated are proportional to the rational thought and honest effort invested.
My father started thinking about what Zon had just said about a commitment to honesty and growth. Preoccupied by this thought, he said, "I want to go home now and think about all this. A lot of things you said today are completely different than what I always believed, but, on the other hand, seem totally honest...and exciting! Finally, there seems to be order in love. Now I feel I can get control of my love life for exciting results! I would like to ask you more questions tomorrow."
That night my father, in the physical prime of his life, felt something unfamiliar but wonderful -- he felt free. When he slept, he had a wonderful dream about a fairy-tale love, a deep and meaningful love. When he woke up, he knew he wanted that kind of love for real. Throughout the morning, he felt different. A wave of maturity seemed to have washed through him. When he got to his mountain, he sat down and said,
"Whatever you are doing to me, I like it. Last night I was thunderstruck by realizing my actions in life were largely based on what others deemed best. Now I think I will discover who I really am, and it feels good. For the first time, I suddenly desire a serious relationship, my kind of relationship. Can we talk about that?"
In about a minute, the wind blew and the gentle woman's voice -- the voice of fully integrated honesty -- continued:
Actions based on standards of other people or "authorities" stifle self-discovery and block the personal and intellectual growth necessary for romantic love and psychuous pleasures. Society or peer views are often very immature. Within romantic love, no action or behavior needs the approval or sanction of anyone beyond the partners themselves.
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