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Mysticism ate my soul and my "I", and it appeared in the form of my girlfriends. It started with coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, need for company, futile stories about luck and misfortune, and it finished with my procrastination, my jealousy and hatred towards anyone that achieved anything in life.
All this resulted in not being able to fall in love any more. If someone from our group started dating, the rest could hardly wait for that relationship to end, and then we would show up supposedly as saviors. Then everything started falling apart. I started doing meaningless things, while the problems were accumulating, and I was psychologically tortured by this.
And then the Neo-Tech offer appeared. I was curious so I ordered it. I read it, but without any success. I couldn't find anything wrong with my life, and if there was something that wasn't quite right, I always tried to justify it to myself.
It's been 2 years since I got Neo-Tech. I just couldn't get enough courage to read it again. A few days ago, I just took it without thinking, and read it. That was when I realized my delusion which could have cost me my life. Now, I am starting from the beginning and I have a lot of energy, but I am still afraid of stopping it. I think I will become something.
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