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Received NEO-THINK and "Iron Grip Control..." Vacillated between my religious beliefs and Neo-Tech.
Finally returned most materials for a refund after reaching a "final decision" -- was rejecting Neo-Tech in favor of Christianity. The basic Neo-Tech II package was returned to me, because it was too late to get a refund.
For years I had been critical of various churches -- I have now finally been able to admit that my problem was not with a particular church, but with the tenants of Christianity itself. It is difficult to see one's emotional attachments to God and "Jesus" demolished (I think the feeling would be akin to shooting one's own mother), but I can only admit that these beliefs have been the main source, for years, of depression and disorganization in my life.
In the last 18 months, I have intensely studied various systems of mysticism - Wicca, Qabala, Ceremonial Magic, surprisingly enough, one value I obtained was the centrality of the individual. Otherwise, my time would have been better spent studying Neo-Tech.
At any rate, I am tonight doing something I NEVER dreamed possible -- I am resigning my pianist job at my church (they pay me for this -- but I have been turning my check back over to them to support their "building program"). I never intend to go back there again. It seems unbelievable, but I am finally forsaking Christianity, before it literally kills me.
However, I face an uphill battle -- all my family and friends are devout Christians. Nevertheless, I just cannot understand how a set of beliefs which stifles initiative, mandates sacrifice, and locks one into unresolvable contradictions can be considered beneficial.
All I want now is to learn more about Neo-Tech and to apply it to my life. I have never been financially successful -- now my burning ambition is to make tons of money so I can pay off my debts, take care of my lovely family, and enjoy financial independence. I realize now how close I was to succumbing forever, irretrievably, into the jaws of a mysticism-induced death. I am more interested than ever in my health and well-being:
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