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Profound differences exist among people in their self-made qualities such as character development, earned skills, self-worth, extrinsic worth, aspects of intelligence, self-esteem, life-lifting capacity, psychuous-pleasures capacity. The "average individual" does not exist. Each individual is unique. So many variables are involved in an individual's character, physical structure, and psychological makeup that no individual can possibly be an average person. Moreover, no average psychology or lifestyle exists. When searching for your psychuous partner, remember, all rational psychologies have a "random-walk" capacity for delivering happiness. That means that every rational, productive individual has the same capacity for earning abiding happiness regardless of intelligence, psychology, or job status. Abiding happiness is possible to the extent that a person rejects mysticism in utilizing the mind to think rationally and in exerting the effort to live fully. A person's honesty, character, and self-earned values count above all else.
Also, keep in mind that people are capable of change...of changing their lives, character, attitudes, views, and actions. To be real, however, such changes must occur through one's own choices motivated by one's own desires and self-interest. Basic changes can never be successfully imposed on anyone, not even by a person's love partner. Changes accomplished by force, threat, coercion, or pressure are not genuine changes, but are pretenses or changes in external appearance designed to deceive, relieve pressures, or to avoid threatened consequences. Such feigned changes are never positive and always lead to harmful consequences.
Positive changes always require honest, self-directed efforts. Through ongoing character development, a person can become triggered to integrate new information quickly. That integration can cause significant, rapid changes in attitudes. For example, consider yourself the past three days since listening to me! If a person is unable or unwilling to act on valid new information, however, then efforts directed toward changing that person will fail. That does not mean untriggered persons cannot eventually change. But, if they do, the change will be by their own choice and pace.
"You're right," my father said. "I have changed enormously these past few days from your enlightenments. In fact, for the first time in my life, I'm really excited about love. I guess, for the first time, I realize the joy and fulfillment possible from love." At that moment, his face, smiling and round under the midday sun, looked as innocent as a schoolboy. The dialogue continued with the sweet female voice that seemed brightened by a smile...
Finding the right partner with whom to experience psychuous pleasures and romantic love is one of life's most important responsibilities. Opportunities to discover a potential, life-long romantic partner exist everywhere. But unplanned approaches diminish your chances of securing the best possible romantic-love partner.
You should remember that meeting a suitable partner to build abiding love and happiness needs only one connection, one meeting, one social function, one planned effort...and any time could be that one time. Until you find that right romantic partner, you should never stop searching for that person with whom to share and build values, love, and happiness. To give up searching would be to give up on life itself. And finding that one person makes all efforts worthwhile.
Never bemoan the unhappiness or falseness of guests at social gatherings, for you might be projecting your own feelings of unhappiness or falseness onto people who may not be that way at all. But, by looking past your own mystical complaints, you can usually generate self-benefiting values from most social circumstances, even if the people encountered hold values and life styles different from your own.
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