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Feelings of social incompetence are generally unfounded. Such feelings are often caused by falsely negative views about yourself or mystical views about others. When you become aware of and scrap those false views, the feelings of social incompetence diminish and often vanish.
An effective way to bypass shyness, nervousness, and feelings of social incompetence is by intense listening with full-focus awareness on the speaker. Not only does such attention elicit friendly reactions from the speaker to the listener, but intense listening increases the listener's ability to communicate and articulate. Intense listening is also a valuable tool to evaluate potential partners for romantic love.
Possibilities for contacting potential, romantic-love partners increase proportionately with the number of approaches made toward potential partners. Many opportunities for discovering romantic-love partners are lost by people who fear what others may think of them for trying to "pick up" people to whom they are attracted. Even more opportunities are lost through inaction caused by fear of rejection.
In finding the best romantic-love partner, you must be free and forward in approaching potential partners. That includes all approaches from a self-introduction to a media ad or a bold pickup. Through fear of rejection, many people lose valuable opportunities to discover romantic partners within whom the supreme values of psychuous pleasures and romantic love reside. That fear of contacting others dissipates on realizing the nature of rejections: Most rejections stem simply from unavailability. And many other rejections arise from inadequacies within the person doing the rejecting. Such rejections are not personal rebuffs, but actually serve as valuable sorting processes that allow the quick elimination of unpromising prospects with a minimum loss of time.
Those who rely on natural beauty or physical attractiveness to control love situations are generally unsuitable for romantic love. For usually they ignore the efforts and disciplines needed to develop capacities to receive or deliver romantic love and psychuous pleasures. Those who respond to your initial, natural approach often make the best prospects for romantic partners. For that reason, you must freely express your unique, natural self from the start in order for the selection process to work effectively in uncovering the best potential romantic-love partners.
Many people erroneously think that seeking potential romantic partners at social functions designed for that purpose, such as singles dances, clubs, introduction services, Parents Without Partners, is somehow degrading. But the opposite is the fact. People who value themselves and their happiness will resist mystically acting on such false feelings. Instead, they will place a high priority on those activities that will improve their chances of discovering the best-possible, life-long, romantic-love partner.
The value of romantic love is far too important for leaving to random chance. Instead, you must put the discovering of a life-long partner under your own direct control. You must exert organized, rational efforts to find the love partner with whom the greatest values can be exchanged. That direct-action approach contrasts with the mystical approach of those who count on random chance, a white knight, or someone else to deliver the values of love and happiness to them. ...To gain and keep a value as great as romantic love requires some effort.
The voice of honesty paused. My father stood up and looked deep into the mountain's terrain, then said, "Zon, thank you. I feel that deep responsibility and desire now." The moment captured my father and Zon, looking at each other...just as still as a desert painting. Yet, internal emotions raced through my dad. He did not even notice when the wind began blowing again, but then heard Zon saying...
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