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The "value to me" standard is the most reliable, valuable way for you to judge the personal value of another individual. The direction and extent the "value scale" tilts is influenced by the personal-value system of you, for the value weights often depend on your personal wants, goals, needs and thus will vary from individual to individual.
"Zon, I may have already found the woman I want to become serious with," my father said. "Can you give me some Neotech tips? I want the power of fully integrated honesty to make this work."
Once you find romantic love, realize this: Only within a romantic relationship in which you and your woman love and value each other in your private universe can you experience the full range of physical and psychological sharing. Within the romantic relationship resides the full scope of psychuous pleasures: the combination of full-range sexuality with the freedom to fearlessly share any aspect of yourself...any thought, feeling, fantasy, emotion -- good or bad, rational or irrational. Thus, you can let go completely to share and guiltlessly experience any aspect of your body, mind, emotion, imagination with your romantic-love partner.
You can freely share any aspect of yourself and life. But you need not share every aspect. You always have the guiltless right to privacy to any area of your life, even within the closest, most open and honest friendship or romantic-love relationship. Total honesty does not require total revealing all of your private self. Indeed, absolute and total sharing of yourself and psyche involves losing the most profound essence of privacy. That loss, in turn, diminishes the sense of "I" and your self-esteem. Retaining the essence of personal privacy is not an act of repression, inhibition, dishonesty, or lack of openness, but is a self-respect preservation of your inherent right to privacy.
To experience psychuous pleasures through romantic love requires genuine self-esteem valuing of your own self. Beyond the romantic-love relationship, self-esteem is diminished or even destroyed by indiscriminately sharing or by giving away your personal, private self too cheaply. That loss of self-esteem can be especially severe if you promiscuously give away your private self just because socially chic books, gurus, and media commentators falsely promulgate the need to be totally open with everyone. They imply that love, openness, and honesty are demonstrated by the giving of your private self to all comers.
The sharing of yourself is a personal choice and judgment. Such sharing with another person may occur quickly, even on initial contact if judgment responses trigger desires to move toward deeper personal or romantic possibilities. Chances should and must be taken on exploring potentially valuable relationships. Errors in judgment are often made. But minimum harm from such errors results so long as you are making your own choices, using reason and reality rather than following the words of mystics, social "authorities", or gurus.
Happiness exists as a private world within your own self. That world expands into a mutually exclusive universe shared by two people involved in a psychuous-pleasure, romantic-love relationship. And that exclusive, private universe is a uniquely precious, emotional treasure. But that treasure can be forever lost by indiscriminately or promiscuously sharing yourself physically, psychologically, or spiritually with others.
That selfless giveaway and subsequent destruction of your private inner world is exactly what the egalitarian advocates of "total openness" wish to accomplish. Only by negating everyone else's private values and self-esteem, can they justify their own prostituted inner world.
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