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The next day after reading Neo-Tech, I disposed of my mystical crutches. At first I felt a little unsure and then I realized I had to give myself a chance. Low and behold I was not any less after this ritual, but more. I, in delving further and further into mysticism, felt I had many problems to overcome. That if I did the right thing, everything would be fine. Without mysticism, I don't feel out-of-control but able to do what I need to build the life I desire.
I recognized the entire system -- one I had seen before. My self-esteem rose dramatically in those few days. Break-throughs began happening as a result of me using my brain, not of altering reality. I began to see I had been altering my reality so much I was losing my ability to function in the world I was trying so hard to change. I was fast beginning to suspect that mysticism wasn't the answer and all the signs were there.
I felt a very fine integration take place. Mysticism seeks to divide to make the victim vulnerable and confused and unable to function as a unit. I feel whole now. When I do try to slip into mysticism, I realize it right away and do something about it. It's my old lazy way of escaping reality and my emotions. so I take a look -- a good look -- at why the pain and what I can do. when I did this today, such a surge of power was released from my mind I felt totally different. I didn't feel like a woman searching for life and mystic thrills and yet having to hide my inadequacies from people, but I felt like a powerful being -- an intelligent one who could live an incredibly exciting and powerful life.
I've been trying to "wake up" from this deep sea and at last I am. Words can't describe how excited I am. The truths I found in Neo-Tech have been my fondest dreams and desires and beliefs all my life. My mind is healing very quickly.
Also, when one uses their own mind, I believe the mind naturally evolves to higher capacities. Much like a skill increases in value with practice and persistence. I'm done being the way I was. I almost want to laugh when I think of the things I believed even though my body was in such pain and my emotions were so pained I had to repress them and create a new reality in my brain.
Anyway, I even look different. I look younger and more beautiful in just a few days. What more can I say. I'm on my way.
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