Introduction & Programs ~ Starting Out; Some Basics ~ Success Journeys ~ Accelerate Your Learning ~ Time: Your Most Valuable Asset ~ How to Feel Good All the Time ~ How to Overcome Self‑Interference ~ A Few Health Basics ~ Cause & Effect ~ Additional Articles
Here is knowledge to enable you to become more successful, earn more money, feel good, enjoy great health (while cutting your health bills), and extend your life...
Be sure to also check out: The 4-Step Anger Cure! This one simple technique can improve your health and extend your life!
Motivating Yourself by Kelly Reese
SELF-MOTIVATION (Part 1) and (Part 2) by Thomas D. Yarnell
Owen Wilson & Understanding Suicide
What is Depression?
Have you ever said to yourself, or heard someone else say: "I don't THINK like doing this now?"
On the other hand, have you said to yourself, or heard someone say: "I don't FEEL like doing this now?"
Does it make sense that most people are much more motivated by their FEELINGS than their THOUGHTS?
Does it also make sense that if you FEEL GOOD ALL THE TIME! you'll do more of the things that make you succeed?
What if FEELING GOOD is a Make-or-Break Issue (MBI) -- and a most important CAUSE OF SUCCESS? (Some relevant evidence below.)
If mild or serious BAD MOODS affect you, it may be worth investing time, money, and effort to get yourself feeling good all the time.
For bad feelings caused by hormonal and neurotransmitter imbalances, take: "Food/Supplement Path".
For bad feelings caused by early-life imprints, take: "Clear-Imprints Path".
For bad feelings caused by thoughts, take: "Cognitive/Emotive Path".
"Your quality of life -- and your income -- depend on your mood level. Your mood level depends on your brain biochemistry. As long as you are trying to get ahead while feeling low you are beating your head against the wall. A gigantic step towards success lies in improving how you FEEL." -- The authors of Food, Mood and Money
For many people, a major factor determining their level of success may be their mood level. The reality may be that if they try to do things to become more successful, other than elevating their mood level -- like improving their thinking, getting motivated, getting trained, etc. -- they will make little or no progress.
For some people, elevating their mood level may be a vital first or early part of their "Personal Competence and Power Shift (PCAPS)."
The table below has been adapted from the original on the Food, Mood and Money pages. If your mood is consistently "BOLDNESS, OPTIMISM & ENTHUSIASM," then the chances are very good that you're a top performer enjoying a high level of success. If your mood is consistently below this level, or frequently drops to a lower level, then you may need to take urgent action to "Raise Your Mood Level!"
You may want to read the Executive Summary -- note how it relates to Fear of Rejection -- and then order Food, Mood and Money. Following is a list of chapter titles of the 5th edition:
Your mood level could be an MBI that needs to be handled first. If you look at the Mood Level Table below, you'll see that the higher your mood level, the higher your emotional state, as well as your degree of boldness. You can also see that the lower somone is on the scale, the more helpless they tend to be. For references to the research on this, see How MOOD leads to MONEY (or lack of it).
So, the first thing for you to tackle, if you want to become more successful, may be your mood level, which is largely a function of brain chemistry, heavily influenced by diet and exercise. So, improving your diet and exercise may be the best starting point in your quest to become more successful! According to the authors of Food, Mood and Money (emphases added):
"Success gurus claim you can become successful yourself by copying what successful people do, or by psyching yourself into a successful attitude. In the past few years these assumptions have unfortunately been proven to be false. Recent research, backed up by much data, confirms the truth you may have already suspected:
The successes of successful people are produced not from what they KNOW or what they DO but from how they FEEL inside -- their "inner weather."
When two business researchers studied two groups of salespeople, they determined that those with solid mood levels were earning five to eight times as much annually as did those who usually felt low or timid...
When Personal Selling Power magazine studied 50 Superachievers and 200 Average Achievers, they found that of the EIGHT main differences between the winners and the also-rans, only ONE was based in any way on skill or knowledge. The other SEVEN success factors were all related to mood levels...
It's true in business as in life: HOW YOU FEEL IS WHAT YOU GET.
Your quality of life -- and your income -- depend on your mood level. Your mood level depends on your brain biochemistry. As long as you are trying to get ahead while feeling low you are beating your head against the wall. A gigantic step towards success lies in improving how you FEEL.
...A better way to mood elevation is taught by personal trainers and celebrity performance coaches in California, Europe and Japan, and works entirely through natural foods, non-prescription supplements, and a few simple lifestyle changes."
The Mood Table |
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| Mood Levels | Emotional States | Typical Thoughts | Rewards and Payoffs |
| Mania | Overoptimistic, fanatic, overconfident, euphoric, grandiose, unrealistic high expectations, overly egotistical, extremely arrogant, excessive certainty, excessive pride, reckless, pompous, bombastic, disrespectful to the point of obnoxiousness. Hyper-energetic. |
"I'll save the world from... (whatever)!"
or "I can jump out the window and fly like Superman!" or "In next to no time I'll become wealthier than Bill Gates!" or "I can get away with anything!" or "I can fool all the people all the time!" or "Nothing can stop me now!" |
Rare spectacular success possible, however, disastrous failures more likely in the long run. Some political, religious, and business leaders "elevate" themselves to this level and become dangerous to themselves and others. Adolph Hitler, Jim Jones, and David Koresh come to mind. ("Low-mood-level" victims sometimes idolize maniacal leaders and follow them into war, destruction, death, business disasters, etc.) |
| Boldness, Optimism & Enthusiasm | Self-confident, high self-esteem, courageous, curious, conscious, self-evaluating, responsible, rational, persistent, strong leadership qualities, determination, initiative, independence and/or self-dependence, self-reliance, strong sense of humor. This optimal state of brain biochemistry is probably experienced naturally and automatically by maybe around 2% to 5% of people - ("the fortunate few!") The rest of us might occasionally get to this state by accident for short periods. Then we might perform some amazingly astute actions that produce great results - and exclaim afterwards: "I don't know what came over me!" High positive energy. May develop a strong sense of doing things right. | "I'm the master of my fate and the captain of my destiny!"
or "What's the most important thing for me to do today?" or "What's the "weakest link" in my life or business - the single thing I can improve to produce the biggest increase in the rewards for myself, my family, friends, associates, business, clients, etc?" or "How can I test, measure, and evaluate my actions so as to make them most effective, efficient, and productive?" or "What knowledge, skills, and methods do I need to acquire in order to become more successful?" or "What resources are available to me to make my life healthier, happier, and more successful?" |
Consistent high rewards. Sometimes, spectacular sustainable rewards. The authors of Food, Mood and Money claim that the evidence that individuals at this mood level enjoy "far higher incomes (average 5 to 8 times higher than timid individuals) is statistically documented in impeccable research reports." Individuals at this mood level enjoy higher levels of success in all or most areas of life - health, fitness, longevity, family, relationships, businesses, careers, projects, satisfaction, happiness, etc. With Internet money-making programs, they typically build downlines of hundreds or even thousands - and earn a great deal of money. They may be dedicated to life-long learning and improvement, which are likely to bring them huge rewards in the long run. Ideally, they use their Power of Choice to maximize the rewards for themselves, their associates, and the world in general. |
| Mild & Brittle Optimism | Mild enthusiasm, feelings of mild uncertainty, lack of confidence, disappointment, slight inferiority, etc. People at this level typically give up easily and don't follow through. They suffer from a lack of determination and persistence. They often make half-hearted attempts to succeed. When things go wrong, they tend to blame others and/or factors outside themselves - lack of responsibility. Medium energy. | "It's not my fault!"
or "This is too difficult or complicated for me!" or "With so may crooks in the world, you just can't win!" or "I'll just stick with my (boring dead-end) job because I know I'll get paid!" or "I'm cleverer, smarter, and better educated than my family, friends, co-workers, etc. - so why should I make a special effort to become more knowledgeable, competent, and skilled?" |
Moderate rewards. Individuals at this mood level may do comparatively well in mundane, routine jobs. They may even enjoy moderately high salaries. However, at some point in their lives they may ask themselves: "What am I living for?" or "What makes my life worthwhile?" - and not be able to provide any satisfactory answers. They may feel that they're wasting their lives. With Internet money-making programs, they typically sponsor 0-5 people... then they give up and move on to the next program... where they repeat the same inferior behavior patterns. |
| Neutral Mood - Apathy & Lethargy - Mild Helplessness | Boredom, inertia, futility. Typically, people at this mood level are like a baseball player who steps up to the plate, but when the pitcher pitches the ball, they just watch it go by, without attempting to swing the bat and hit the ball - then they wonder: "How come the ball didn't go into the stands for a home run?" Little or no energy. | "I'll probably never amount to very much!"
or "If I watch TV and/or drink a beer, I'll feel better!" or "There's nothing I can do to improve myself!" or "I was made to be this way, meant to be this way, and I'm going to stay this way!" or "I just don't have the time to do what's necessary to succeed!" or "Anyway, I don't care!" |
Few rewards. In a low-level job you earn just enough to get by. With money-making programs, you typically do nothing and sponsor 0 people. Vicarious rewards. You identify with and idolize a sports team, a leader, or a movement with a "great cause." A form of escapism. Can also be fanatic - sports fan(atic)! Can provide the rewards of camaraderie and a feeling of belonging. |
| Timidity, Negativity & Mild Depression - Moderate Helplessness | "Turned off," pessimistic, shy, brooding, gloomy, sad, self-denigrating, procrastination, self-sabotage. If you have trouble with promoting yourself, selling, cold-calling, presen-ting, and generally moving your agenda forward, this may be the mood level that's holding you back. Your general emotional state may be your big handicap. You may have a limited ability to distinguish between actions likely to produce money (and other rewards), and futile, time-wasting, or negative actions. Negative energy. | "Life is a drag!"
or "I woke up with the blahs - I feel so bad!" or "There's no point in asking; I know I'll be rejected!" or "Nothing I've tried in the past has worked, so why should I continue trying?" or "All my friends agree with me that it's impossible to sponsor enough people to make money!" or "I've failed so many times that I now feel completely discouraged!" or "I didn't succeed because... (list of excuses)." or "I don't feel like doing it now!" or "I don't feel like continuing with this!" |
Minimal or negative rewards. Relatively low income. Small and/or dilapidated accommodation (maybe in a poor neighborhood). Older or no car. Few or low-level friends and contacts. Stuck in unrewarding ruts. Persists with losing propositions. Rarely undertakes new activities, projects, or endeavors. Rarely or never operates at full steam. Rarely or never enjoys the feeling of being fully alive. Individuals at this mood level typically sabotage their own success with money-making programs by not taking (or mishandling) the actions necessary for success, and by sending dumb, time-wasting, and/or insulting emails to Program Admins and posting negative messages to forums and discussion boards. |
| Deep Depression - Debilitating Helplessness | Serious emotional state with some or all of the following: extreme negativity and pessimism, fatigued, indecisive, hopeless, helpless, low or lost sex drive, non-specific (vague) anxiety and guilt, feeling useless and/or worthless, withdrawal. Extreme negative energy. | "I don't feel like getting out of bed!"
or "I might as well kill myself!" or "I wish I had never been born!" or "The world is probably better off without me!" or "I'll show them; I'll kill myself!" or "Everybody hates me!" or "I'm just a worthless piece of shit!" |
Extreme negative rewards. Why do some people use their minds, bodies, and energy to hinder and harm, rather than help, themselves and their fellows? To what extent is it a matter of choice? What are the payoffs for negative and destructive behaviors? What kind of Self-Interference might be at work here? What are the differences and similarities between Depression and Mania? |
A good place for you to start your journey to success may be to complete two questionnaires:
You may want to check out either or both of two books:
Natural Highs - Feel Good All the Time. (Dr. Hyla Cass on how food and drugs affect mood and how we can turn it around and become more relaxed, bolder, and more enthusiastic.)
Explorations: Mood Food -- You can learn how the food you eat affects your brain and your mood. Includes multiple case studies, and what to eat when you need to concentrate, when you feel like relaxing, and before a romantic night! (click to watch video)
If you often or chronically experience low-level moods, then depression and helplessness may be relevant issues for you. Hormonal and/or neurotransmitter imbalances may be involved.
Natural Mental Health Cures
Orthomolecular Psychiatry is nutrition and natural substances used to help balance any chemical imbalances in the body and treat mental disorders, mental illness or psychiatric symptoms. This is a natural way to treat mental health problems like Depression, "ADHD", Schizophrenia, Anxiety problems, etc. By correcting the imbalance naturally, you eliminate psychiatric symptoms for good without the use of long term medications which only cover up problems such as antidepressants, antipsychotics, anti-anxiety medications, etc.
Considerable research indicates that depression and helplessness are sometimes associated with low levels of the neurotransmitters noradrenaline (also called norepinephrine) and serotonin in your brain. Check out:
Warning: Google +ssri +"side effect" before considering selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SSRIs), which some doctors may prescribe. In general, you may be better off avoiding prescription drugs. Realize that some medical doctors and psychiatrists may not be particularly well-informed (or even extremely misinformed!) in this area.
If you suffer from any degree of depression and/or helplessness -- and we suspect this applies to many unsuccessful people -- then the above two questionnaires may provide you with some useful clues. If relevant, you may want to Google:
Note. We focus on serotonin and noradrenaline (norepinephrine), because they may be the most important. However, other imbalances of hormones and/or neurotransmitters may be involved in any particular case. Testing, as indicated in the above video, may be necessary.
For details on how drug companies have been misleading people about the effectiveness of antidepressants, see Effect of antidepressants exaggerated due to buried data.
If you experience serotonin and/or noradrenaline deficiencies, taking their precursors may be appropriate.
Great Book #1: Primal Healing: Access the Incredible Power of Feelings to Improve Your Health by Dr. Arthur Janov. Many people are to some extent "lived by their early imprints." Some people suffer from "helplessness imprints" that pervade much of their lives. This is described by Dr. Arthur Janov in Chapter 4: "The Imprint: How It Runs Our Lives."
Helplessness imprints can be described by phrases like: "No one wants me"; "They never wanted me"; "What's the use of trying"; "I'm all alone"; "Nobody loves me"; "Trying to get love is useless"; "I don't want to work anymore"; "I've done enough"; "I am not going to do it"; "I don't get any help"; "Nothing I do is worth anything"; "There is something wrong with me"; "Nothing can save me"; "I'm not worth shit for anything"; etc. However, these are shallow descriptions of the tips of icebergs. The imprints include feelings, emotions, and pain stored as deep memories in the "whole human system."
Deep imprints, including those related to helplessness, impact the whole human system: mind, brain, and body. Quotes from Primal Healing:
"To feel defeated is real -- a real reaction to a real event of being deprived, any struggle at birth due to a heavy anesthetic administered to the mother, not some neurotic aberration."
"The imprint is really an ensemble of reactions that is impressed simultaneously into the whole system."
"Chronic high blood pressure is a good example of how memory lives within our brain system -- it is an expression of a memory, a neurological imprint, which manifests physiologically."
"Hopelessness, helplessness, despair, and resignation can be imprinted through diminished oxygen [at birth]..."
"The more painkillers a woman takes during labor, the more likely her child will be to abuse drugs or alcohol later on."
"In trying to kill the pain, we are sometimes forced into behaviors that ruin our lives."
"For true and lasting change, deep levels of the brain must change physiologically, enabling key structures within the brain to recalibrate to optimal, healthy levels."
"It is not possible to truly get well by way of some easy, feel-good process, which is what the selling point is behind meditation, hypnosis, acupuncture, and all cognitive therapies."
Chapter 10 of Primal Healing is titled "Why We Have to Relive in Order to Get Well." You can't just talk or think yourself out of the effects of imprints; to cure yourself you have to relive them.
From our own perusal of "success and self-improvement books," "self-improvement seminars and workshops," "meditation, think-and-grow-rich, think-right-now, law-of-attraction, motivational-speaking, personal-coaching, permission-to-succeed, deep-breathing, sensory-deprivation, trauma-clearing, psychotherapy, brain-entrainment practices," etc., we've concluded that everything I've gotten involved with or come across so far contributes very little, if anything, to the greater success of the "98% of people who typically fail." The main reason, I contend, is that, generally, these approaches don't provide people with the means to identify and handle their Make-or-Break Issues (MBIs).
So the sad situation is that practically nobody provides the means for the 98%ers to improve and become significantly more successful. A revealing book that supports this contention is SHAM: How the Self-Help Movement Made America Helpless by Steve Salerno. Salerno suggests that much of the "Self-Help and Actualization Movement" (SHAM) tends to make people worse.
Maybe, in the absence of tackling and overcoming MBIs, "98%ers" tend to be impervious to self-improvement and becoming significantly more successful. Maybe the "Self-Help and Actualization Movement" (SHAM) is so big and profitable, enabling some of its "top gurus" to rake in millions, because practically nothing works for the 98%ers. So the demand remains huge and insatiable.
It may be similar to the "gurus" selling information online on how to make millions online. Some "gurus" make millions selling their "secrets." But practically nothing works for the 98%ers. So the demand remains huge and insatiable.
Nevertheless, there may be at least a little hope for 98%ers. Martin E. P. Seligman, Ph.D. author of What You Can Change and What You Can't writes: "Traditionally, most people in the West have believed that human character is fixed and unalterable, that people do not and cannot improve, advance, or perfect themselves. The change from a deep belief in the unchangeability of character to an equally deep belief in the capacity to improve is recent, and it represents one of the most fundamental and important revolutions in modern thought... The Maximal Self believes that it can change and improve, and this very belief allows change and improvement. The dogma of human plasticity tends to fulfill itself."
Chapter 11 of Primal Healing is titled "Toward a Therapy of Feeling: One Cure for Many Diseases." Janov provides the following "key phenomen in the development of emotional afflictions":
- "The underlying cause of many emotional problems and symptoms is pain.
- This pain stems from early in life, not the least of which is womb-life and birth.
- The pain is imprinted into the central nervous system and throughout the body.
- The pain is coded and stored in key brain systems, particularly the limbic system and brainstem, and spreads its tentacles to other parts of one's physiology.
- The pain can be registered on three key levels of brain function or levels of consciousness [brainstem, limbic system, and neocortex].
- The time or epoch in which the trauma occurred will determine where in the brain it is stored and the amount of damage it will produce.
- The pain produces an overload of input into the brain system, which...
- Produces a neurologic shutdown or gating to keep the pain from conscious-awareness.
- As a result of the gating, the painful feelings on lower brain levels reverberate in a loop in lower brain structures.
- There is then a dislocation of function in many key biologic systems as the energy of the pain spreads.
- The pain produces a dissociation or disconnection among those levels, stopping a fluid access among them.
- A proper therapeutic goal must be a connection between lower-level imprinted traumas and conscious-awareness."
In our opinion, Primal Therapy (if it's at all workable) is much too slow. It seems to take years for patients to make significant progress. It's quite possible that Janov's identification of "primal imprints" is valid, but that his methods are not the best ways to overcome them. See also The Seven Stages of Primal Therapy and Debunking Primal Therapy.
It's quite possible that primal imprints can be overcome much more quickly by applying "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (EFT), and/or Gendlin's "Focusing," and/or Idenics. See also Sarno's Mindbody (TMS) Theory.
Great book #2: The Hoffman Process: The World-Famous Technique That Empowers You to Forgive Your Past, Heal Your Present, and Transform Your Future by Tim Lawrence.
The The Hoffman Process addresses a wider range of personal constraints than The FlipSide. Bob Hoffman's identification of the "Negative Love Syndrome" may be particularly important for some people. See Hoffman Institute.
Great book #3: Addicted to Unhappiness: Free yourself from moods and behaviors that undermine relationships, work, and the life you want by Martha Heineman Pieper, PhD and William J. Pieper, MD. The Piepers' identification of "Addiction to Unhappiness" seems closely related to Hoffman's "Negative Love Syndrome."
It's quite possible that the "negative love syndrome" and the "addiction to unhappiness" can both be overcome by applying "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (EFT) and/or Idenics.
Discover the Power of "Brain Linking" (click to watch video)
If you suffer from depression (however mild or severe), you may want to Google "Beck Depression Inventory" and "Hamilton Rating Scale for Depression."
"Depression has been called the world's number one public health problem. In fact, depression is so widespread it is considered the common cold of psychiatric disturbances." -- David D. Burns, M.D. in Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy
The most comprehensive book on "Feeling Good" we know of is Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D. Here is its Table of Contents:
Review by an Amazon.com Customer -- Best self-help book you can buy! -- Sep 8 2003 [emphasis added]:
"This book was a Godsend for me. I had struggled with depression, anxiety, inferiority feelings, etc. for 23 years before I read this book. I had previously read a little bit of it, but that didn't do much good. I intellectually understand the principles of cognitive psychology, but it wasn't until I read the entire book, and read it with an open mind, that I felt some relief.
I've been to a lot of different psychiatrists, psychologists, etc., but nothing had ever done much for me. I've been on just about every Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitor (SSRI), such as Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft, and Luvox, plus other types of psychiatric meds, but nothing ever did much, and a lot of them caused serious side effects.
It really helped me to read the Introduction to the book. Why? Because Dr. Burns details all the scientific research that has been done that confirms the effectiveness of cognitive therapy, also known as cognitive behavioral therapy and rational-emotive behavior therapy.
The essence of cognitive psychology is that the painful emotions we feel are the result of our thoughts and attitudes about the events in our life. It's not that life events don't have any effect on us, but they don't have to overwhelm us or cause us to feel miserable. Some people will say, "But what about the biochemical aspect of emotions?" Dr. Burns devotes over 200 pages to psychiatric medication; after all, he is a psychiatrist, and he does prescribe medication for some of his patients, but he never gives them medication alone. People who are treated only with medication are more likely to relapse if they go off their medication.
This book was selected by mental health professionals as the number one self-help book, out of 1000 books. The follow-up to this book, 'The Feeling Good Handbook,' was chosen as number two.
It's very likely that this book can help you, although Dr. Burns emphasizes that the book is not a substitute for a consultation with a mental health expert. You may be able to handle your problems just by reading the book (and doing the exercises), but don't hesitate to see a psychiatrist or therapist if you need help."
From: David D. Burns, MD. 1989: The Feeling Good Handbook:
We all tend to think in extremes... and when traumatic events happen we think that way even more. Here are some common cognitive distortions. Take a look and see if any of them are getting in your way.
The first thing to realize about self-motivation is that there may be one or more "negatives" that tend to prevent you from motivating yourself. A "low mood level" could be an example -- see The Mood Table.
Such "negatives" may be Make-or-Break Issues (MBIs) you need to handle first.
A "SWOT Analysis" (Google "personal swot analysis" for more details) may help you identify any weaknesses you may want to handle first.
There used to be a program called "Retire Quickly" founded by Kelly Reese. Among other things, he provided a "lesson on motivation" from which the following has been extracted and adapted, with comments by Frederick Mann (FM):
Motivating Yourself
One of the saddest misconceptions existing in our society is that it takes someone else to motivate us. The truth is NO ONE can motivate you, but you, yourself!
Frequently, it will be some outside influence that prompts us to pick ourselves up and really get serious about a goal. It may be losing weight, reaching an income goal or achieving some higher level of achievement in a favorite sport.
However, that outside influence is just the spark to get you started on a goal or project. Whatever or whoever it was that triggered that spark within you is almost never around when you need them two weeks later.
Outside forces can provide the spark, but you must turn that spark into a burning flame that will endure until you achieve your goal or complete your project.
MAKE NO MISTAKE ABOUT IT, THE MOTIVATION TO REALLY STICK WITH SOMETHING MUST COME FROM YOU!
Don't let that discourage you. Even though I can't give you sustained motivation, what I very definitely CAN DO is teach you how successful people are able to keep themselves motivated, without an excessive number of motivational tapes and books.
First, recognize that motivation is a science, not some mystical feeling that somehow overpowers someone and drives them to special limits.
NOTHING in life changes for better or worse, unless it is under pressure. Some pressures push things and some pressures pull things.
Gravity is an example of pulling. If you were to jump out of an airplane, the pulling pressure of gravity would pull you to the ground. If you were shot out of a cannon like a circus performer, the explosion would push you against gravity into the air.
What would happen if there was no gravity and no explosion? Well, you would not move down or up. Without pressure that either pulls on us or pushes on us, we don't MOVE.
Our personal lives are no different. The only way for you to stay motivated... moving in the direction you want to go... is to learn how to apply PRESSURE to yourself. YOU must discover what PUSHES you and what PULLS you toward your goals.
In our personal lives, just as in physics, there are two forces available to us. One repels or pushes you and the other attracts or pulls you. This is frequently referred to as the carrot and the stick, or reward and punishment. Another example is the desire for "heaven" and the fear of "hell". Those may not be concepts you personally believe in, but you certainly understand the principle.
Well, how do we apply these two types of pressure to motivate ourselves? How do we PUSH and PULL ourselves toward our goals? It begins with TRUTH.
Recently,a famous news reporter, Ted Koppel, was quoted to have said, "America has reached the point where it can't handle total truth. It has to have it watered down first."
The single most important thing I have ever learned in business and in life is that complete truth really is the most powerful force known to man. Not partial truth, or mostly truth, but absolute and total truth...
[FM Comment: The notions of "absolute truth" and "total truth" are dangerous and can even be lethal -- check out "Plato Truth Virus (PTV)" in Software For Your Brain.]
Let's take a look at how truth applies to helping you and I to motivate ourselves to achieve success.
What if you aren't honest with yourself? What if you have chosen to be blind to the incredible weight of evidence that shows that smoking will not just kill you before your time, but it will also make you old before your time? This blindness to truth can rob you of any reasonable quality of life and leave you in a miserable state for many years.
If you truly want to quit smoking, then open up your mind to the TRUTH concerning the negatives. Go on the Internet and do research about the devastation that smoking can cause. Make yourself go to the hospital and ask to see some patients suffering from smoking-induced emphysema.
Let the power of truth REPEL you to a better life. Make yourself deal with reality. It will give you the power to change. It will PUSH you toward your goal of a healthier life without smoking.
The other force that can help you is a positive one. It is dealing with the TRUTH about how much better you will feel. How much more vibrant you will look and feel. Think about all the people and things you will be able to enjoy and how much longer you will be able to enjoy them.
Some people have such a burning desire for a particular goal, and they are PULLED so strongly toward their goal, that they don't need additional help from the PUSHING power of negative consequences.
However, that isn't descriptive of all of us. Most of us need to be keenly aware of the positive and we also need to frequently give sober consideration to the negative consequences of our not applying ourselves to reaching our objectives.
Well... I know you get the point, but I want to make it one more time to reinforce it so that you won't let it slip away from you.
Have you ever known someone or known of someone who was very overweight and out of shape? Frequently they will have been that way for years. What happens when they have a heart attack and are fortunate enough to survive? NOW they are motivated. Why... because the truth IS the most powerful force for changing our lives.
They may have ignored the truth of the negative consequences of their lifestyle, but when they almost died, they were forced to stare the FRIGHTENING truth right square in the face. The STICK, the NEGATIVE, the REPELLING, the PUSHING fear of a situation can create massive power to motivate you to become more than you ever imagined.
Practically speaking, what should you do with this information? In addition to motivating yourself to your goal of Retiring Quickly, the following guidelines can be used to overcome smoking, overeating, improving your golf game and a host of other things that require motivation to improve.
- STEP 1: WRITE down your goal or goals!
- EXAMPLE: Retiring Quickly
- STEP 2: Create a list of every single significant benefit you and your spouse (if married) can think of, if you achieve your goal. Make absolutely certain that EVERY SINGLE item on your list is something of very special significance to you.
- EXAMPLES: Travel, play more golf, learn how to paint, take photography classes, volunteer to help those less fortunate, visit your children more often, have money to give to the poor and needy.
- STEP 3: Create a list of every single negative consequence if you don't make a serious commitment to improving your financial condition.
- EXAMPLES: Becoming a burden to your children, low quality of life, embarrassment because of failure, instead of helping others you need to be helped by others.
- STEP 4: Create a list of all major obstacles standing between you and your goal of retiring quickly.
- EXAMPLES: Too much TV, too many outside interests, too lazy, not decisive enough, resistant to getting a little uncomfortable for a few months to change your life FOREVER.
[FM Comment: In addition to the forces of "PULL" and "PUSH," OBSTACLES can be regarded as the third force: the PARALYZING FORCE. There could be obstacles in your life in the form of "Make-or-Break Issues (MBIs) you need to handle before anything else will work. PROCRASTINATION may be such a paralyzing force for many people.]
- STEP 5: WRITE down realistic steps you (and spouse) will take to eliminate the obstacles. DATE it and BOTH SIGN IT. READ it at least once a week... every day is better.
- We will limit TV to only certain programs, or we will not watch TV on Monday, Wednesday and Friday.
- STEP 6: Write down a couple of goals that are reachable within a month or so. Also, decide upon a reasonable reward for reaching those two goals.
- EXAMPLES: If you own a business, then set a couple of reasonable, but challenging goals that you can achieve in 30 to 60 days; or... if you don't own a business but desire to take control of your personal finances, set your goals for that. REWARD: A steak dinner at your favorite restaurant. A weekend at a bed and breakfast at the beach or mountains.
If you jump out of a plane, you are going to fall because the laws of gravity are immutable. Unlike many scientific theories that are NOT fact, gravity is fact.
Well, the principles of reward or punishment, fear or fun and carrot or stick are equally proven. If you will do as I have instructed, then you will CHANGE, GROW & IMPROVE. It is pure science. It is a FACT.
[FM Comment: Negative obstacles can be regarded as the FORCE OF INERTIA -- inertia can paralyze you and prevent any "push" or "pull" from working.
It can also be worse: FORCES OF SELF-INTERFERENCE can push or pull you in negative, even self-destructive, directions -- see How to Overcome Self-Interference.]
However, we are not quite done. There is another critical step that remains to be covered. This step is called "creating BELIEF." You can create a beautiful picture in your mind of all the wonderful reasons to achieve a certain goal. And... you can create an equally clear picture of all the negative things associated with failing to achieve that goal; but if you aren't at least reasonably optimistic that you CAN achieve the goal, then you won't.
Why do you think weight loss programs on TV show you example after example of folks who were in worse shape than most of the TV viewers, but were able to lose more weight than you need to lose?
They know before you can be successful you must first believe it is possible for you. And, by the way, they also know that like many overweight people, the TV viewers have probably stopped thinking they can do it. So, they know if they are the ones to get us to believe we can lose weight, then we will probably buy their program.
You must do the same thing when it comes to achieving financial freedom. If you are convinced that it can't happen for you, then you will quit just as soon as you hit a temporary roadblock.
We want to teach you the critical principles that will turn on your BELIEF switch.
Consider why a refugee can come to America, or any other country, and, in spite of all his disadvantages, actually achieve financial independence within a short period of time. At the same time, many Americans who have lived in this land of opportunity all of their lives sit around as life rushes past them. How can that happen? The refugee believes in the American Dream... the dream of the entrepreneur, with all his being. He hasn't let our negative news and pessimistic culture take his eyes off his target.
I invite you to become just like the refugee. Control the things that influence your attitude. Shut out the negative people and their sad pessimistic outlook on life.
I promise... if you will faithfully practice the principles from this lesson, perhaps for the first time in your life you can really catch a glimpse of the American Dream in your own life... or whatever country you're from, the entrepreneur's dream, I also promise you will find it much easier to keep yourself motivated.
- STEP 7: Really study this Course. It will not only teach you very important things to do, it will also give you the confidence to succeed. It is easy reading, and because many of the critical principles come from real life, I believe you will find it exciting and enjoyable.
Don't leave a single step out of the process I just went through with you, and don't overlook the details, such as WRITING down your goals. After you have completed the first Seven steps, then take your last step.
- FINAL STEP: Complete YOUR "Abundant Living Dream Sheet." This is a fun and powerful step. If you are married, then develop this "Action List" together. Don't put anything on your list unless you are really excited about it.
This could be anything... from finishing that college degree you started -- to world travel. It could be moving to the mountains or to the seashore. It could be any number of things that are really special and exciting to you and your spouse. Have fun with this critical step and let your imagination run free. Keep this list where you both can look at it frequently. It will help you generate and sustain passion to do great things.
I wish you could know just how excited I am for you. My life has never been the same since I discovered how to "Motivate Myself." It was my FIRST step toward financial wellness and financial freedom, and it will really improve YOUR life, too.
Remember: "The things that come to a man who waits seldom turn out to be the things he's waiting for." TAKE ACTION NOW!
FM Comment: I suspect that Kelly Reese's lesson in its original form worked for very few people, mainly because it failed to address "Make-or-Break Issues" (MBIs) you need to handle before anything else will work.
by Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph.D., Clinical Psychologist. Copyright 1999 Thomas D. Yarnell, Ph.D. All rights reserved
Successful performance at just about anything requires that you be able to keep yourself motivated. Discouragement and lack of motivation hits everyone at some time or another. The more techniques we have to help us restart our engine or to keep it going when things get tough or boring, the more successful we will be.
Technique To Build Self-Motivation: VISUAL GOALS
Everyone expects to get something for the time and effort they put in doing whatever job they do. Maybe your goal is a new house, a car, a vacation or just a new piece of clothing. Whatever it is that you are working for, make it visual. Cut out pictures that show your goal or that represent your goal in some way.
Tape these pictures to a sheet of poster board and hang it in your home or at work or anyplace you can so you will see it often. Carry a picture with you so you can look at what you are working towards every time you become discouraged or feel like slacking off.
This technique works well for goals that are things we want and also goals that represent physical changes such as losing weight. You can post and carry pictures of the car you want or pictures of Hawaii to represent the vacation you want. You can also post and carry pictures of you when you were slim or at least slimmer than you are. Some of my clients who don't remember ever being slim found that they could cut out pictures from a magazine of someone else who was slim and then paste their face over the face in the picture. After the initial laugh about how silly that looked, they became used to it and found that it worked just as well as the others who had slim pictures of themself.
The more visual and more real you can make the goal, the better it will work at keeping you motivated. One person I know was saving money for a very specific and expensive sports car. He knew it would take awhile before he had the money and he became discouraged often even though he had pictures of the car scattered all over his house and in the car he drove then. To make it more real to him, he and his wife went to the car dealer and took his picture sitting behind the wheel, looking in the trunk and standing next to the car. After posting these pictures, he related that it made it so much more real and much easier to stay on task when he became discouraged.
Technique To Build Self-Motivation: WRITTEN CONTRACTS
Motivational research shows that people who write out what they are going to do are far more successful than people who only tell themselves they will do something. Putting something in writing makes it psychologically more powerful. This is one reason why making written lists helps us stay more organized than just having a mental list. Our society favors written contracts and most of us have grown up knowing that you are supposed to honor written contracts. We can take advantage of this psychological conditioning to help us stay motivated. We can make a contract with ourself.
In the contract, state what you will do, when you will complete the task and what your reward will be once the contract is fulfilled. Read your contract over every morning and every evening before going to bed. If your goals are too small or too large, revise them. You can rewrite your contract as needed but don't make it so easy that it becomes useless as a motivator.
In SELF-MOTIVATION (Part 1) I talked about using "Visual Goals" and "Written Contracts" to help you keep yourself motivated. I know, life should be fun so you wouldn't have to play mind games with yourself to keep yourself motivated. Unfortunately, it just isn't that way much or even most of the time. Here are two more techniques you can use to help keep your battery charged.
Technique To Build Self-Motivation: REWARDS
Everyone likes to be rewarded for doing a good job. We also like being rewarded for just completing something we needed or wanted to do. Unfortunately, there are many times when there is no one else around to pat us on the back for the job we completed. Pats on the back, "good job," "nice work," "thank you" are all essential to being a motivated, productive person. There are many people in positions of authority who do not realize this or who don't care. If this is what's happening to you, you probably already feel discouraged. While rewarding yourself is not as potent as having the reward come from someone else, it can still help you stay motivated, productive and happier than if you received no reinforcement at all.
To make the reward system really work, you must pick rewards that you really want. Large or small, expensive or cheap, if it isn't something you want, it isn't a reward. The size of the reward should also fit the size of the project. Buying a new car because you cleaned the garage is out of the question -- if you know what I mean. Taking an hour to sit and read your favorite mystery novel after completing the task seems more in line.
Technique To Build Self-Motivation: PUT IT IN WRITING
Review the section on written contracts in Part 1. Make a contract with yourself to reward yourself with "X" when you complete whatever project you are working on. How often you reward yourself will depend on how unmotivated you are. If you are feeling unmotivated to do a project, you may contract with yourself to give yourself a reward after each step of the project or after every hour you've worked. If you are motivated to do something, you may wait until it's totally completed before rewarding yourself.
Finally, if you promise yourself a reward, you must give it to yourself and you must take it. Our mind is a fascinating device and it has a huge memory. Make a contract with yourself for a special reward, complete the task but then, don't take the reward. The next time, your mind will recall the broken promise and the contract for a reward will not have the same motivating results as if you had taken and received the reward the last time.
This technique also holds true when you are trying to motivate someone else (spouse, child, friend, employee). Use all the same procedures and you will be able to produce some motivation for the other person. Just make sure the reward is something they want and not something you want.
Technique To Build Self-Motivation: ACT "AS IF"
Many of us have heard the phrase "Smile and things will get better." The psychological truth is that this is true. If you wake up feeling rotten, hating the world, put a smile on your face and some bounce in your step and pretty soon, you will start feeling better. Most people know that our body language tells a lot about our mood. What most people don't know is that, because of this relationship, you can use your body language to change your mood and how you feel about yourself. If you start acting confident (stand straight, head high, shoulders back, a smile on your face and walk crisply) even though you feel discouraged, your discouragement will begin to disolve. You will begin to feel more confident and sure of yourself. As this begins to happen, you will become more energized and motivated which, in turn, will make you feel even better about yourself.
In the beginning, you will be aware that you are just "faking it." With practice, it will become more natural and will become a genuine part of your personality. You can now start to transform your personality so you will be the type of person you want to be. It will take time and persistence but it does work.
[To find out about Dr. Yarnell's products and services, Google "Thomas Yarnell".]
Your ability to motivate yourself may have been compromised or even severely damaged by your "schooling." John Taylor Gatto was named New York City Teacher Of The Year, each year from 1989 to 1991. In 1991 the New York Senate named him State Teacher Of The Year. Gatto confesses to being "the 7-lesson schoolteacher." You can read more about Gatto and his "7 lessons" in "ARE OUR SCHOOLS CONCENTRATION CAMPUSES FOR MIND DESTRUCTION?" Following are the seven lessons (aspects particularly important to the ability to motivate yourself highlighted):
According to Gatto, these are the consequences of the seven lessons:
Maybe one of the purposes of "compulsory education" is to reduce individuals' ability to motivate themselves and to prepare them to become "obedient workers" in factories and offices. When you work in a job, it may be in an environment where you just have to do what you're told to "succeed" (i.e., get paid at the end of the week or month, without getting fired). Your job may never involve any critical decisions on your part, and you may never experience the power of your positive decisions. You may operate in a structure or system where your decisions are largely irrelevant and unwanted.
The following is based on notes taken from some of Gatto's videos on how the minds of victims of "schooling" get damaged:
In trying to start your own business, or make money on the Internet, YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE! It's up to you to make decisions, take actions, and produce results. Although there may be a kind of support system or structure, there's no boss standing over you to ensure that you do your work. It's an environment very different from a job. Working in a job can result in getting out of touch with your ability to motivate yourself.
What if outside their jobs, most people actually DECIDE TO FAIL. So, their personal finances and relationships tend to be a mess. Typically, they DON'T KNOW that they decide to fail. But the fact remains: THEY DECIDE TO FAIL. The percentage of people "trying" to start their own business or make money on the Internet, who decide to fail, is very high -- almost certainly well above 90%!
If there is a way to recover from such "dumbing down," you may find it at Accelerate Your Learning!
For an explanation of "Your Win-Lose Switch," see "Personal Competence and Power Shift (PCAPS)."
If you're someone who has tried to start your own business or make money online, and haven't succeeded so far, consider that you may have decided to fail... you decided to turn your "win-lose switch" to a low level... or even "zero!" This could be part of the "TRUTH" Kelly Reese writes about. It could have been an unconscious decision. The following email may represent such an instance:
"I joined a number of programs some years ago and pursued them perhaps not as intelligently or diligently as I should have. Ended up losing my entire investment without making a dime. Discouraging.
I decided I lacked the necessary know-how, drive, persistence or something to make these sorts of programs work. I keep telling myself that I'm no salesman, but every time I "admit" that, it makes me cringe because I realize that I've sold THAT to myself, so I'm a pretty good salesman after all!
I'm a failure at this stuff. I invested and lost enough to sell myself well on my own failure. I suppose what I was looking for was wage slavery. I sold myself on the thought that this is what I needed, this is all I deserved, or this is all I was capable of achieving. It was a good sale. I bought it from somebody I can't really help but trust unconditionally, myself.
So, here I am standing at a diverging road. One path seems more secure, the other I've convinced myself I can't navigate. I think, in this regard, I have to trust you more than I trust myself because I believe I've sold myself on a lie."
Finding out where you are has to do with "getting real" -- see Discover & Confront Where You Are. Once you realistically know where you are, you can make a realistic plan on how to move forward. If your plan and expectations are realistic, you'll be more likely to keep yourself motivated to Persist with Realistic Actions that Have a Chance of Working!
If your assessment of where you are is unrealistic, your plan to move forward may also be unrealistic, making it difficult to keep yourself motivated.
Stewart Emery is author of the book Actualizations: You Don't Have to Rehearse to Be Yourself. He says [emphases added]:
"In our society, when we talk about raising children, we are really talking about driving them crazy. What education ["schooling"] is about is conditioning people to be irresponsible and stupid. It teaches them to be skillful technologists and useless people... At the end of the "educational" process we have become technically semi-competent human machines, and as creative human beings we have turned into morons."
Ayn Rand was a novelist and philosopher, best known for her books, Atlas Shrugged, The Fountainhead, The Virtue of Selfishness, and Capitlism: The Unknown Ideal. Among other books, she also wrote The New Left: The Anti-Industrial Revolution, with a chapter, "The Comprachicos."
Comprachico is a Spanish word meaning "child-buyer." The comprachicos were a nomadic association, notorious in the seventeenth century. They bought and sold children -- special children, children turned into deformed freaks, used in freak shows to amuse the public. At an early age they placed a young child in a porcelain pot with a grotesque form. As the child's body grew, it had to assume the shape of the pot. The result was a deformed freak for people to laugh at.
Rand uses the practice of the comprachicos as an analogy to describe American "education." She refers to our "educators" as "the comprachicos of the mind." Children's minds are forced to assume the shape of a grotesque "intellectual pot." Rand describes the result:
"The students' development is arrested, their minds are set to respond to slogans, as animals respond to to a trainer's whistle, their brains are embalmed in the syrup of altruism as an automatic substitute for self-esteem... They would obey anyone, they need a master, they need to be told what to do. They are ready now to be used as cannon fodder -- to attack, to bomb, to burn, to murder, to fight in the streets and die in the gutters. They are a trained pack of miserably impotent freaks, ready to be unleashed against anyone."
"Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them." -- Joseph Heller
Many people use their own brains more to sabotage than to aid their success. Most of us emerged from school with minds PROGRAMMED FOR MEDIOCRITY! The same may apply to you. Just check out the book Simple Steps to Impossible Dreams: The Fifteen Power Secrets of the World's Most Successful People by Steven K. Scott. Here are some points from Scott's book:
The "greatest computer in the universe" is, of course, your brain -- or "necktop computer" as Dr. Hewitt-Gleeson calls it. Hopefully your brain hasn't been damaged beyond hope of recovery. The best way to find out is to do your best to upgrade it! A good place for many to start may be by applying the Why-Can-Do Booster.
See also DENIAL OF INCOMPETENCE (and/or STUPIDITY).
Suppose a simple mechanism reduces the personal power and effectiveness of many people by 90% or more and makes them feel bad, helpless, or even sick.
Suppose you can take a few simple and easy steps to quickly restore yourself to a high level of personal power and effectiveness, and make yourself feel good!
A "Leverage Point" is an area where the Effort to Improve yields the Biggest Benefits. This Page may be worth studying carefully because its contents may reveal an important personal Leverage Point for you...
Consider two hypothetical people: Peter Powerful and Willie Weakling. Peter Powerful understands the "dynamics of anger." When things go wrong, and his wishes and/or expectations are not satisfied, he's consciously aware of the specific wishes and/or expectations that were not satisfied. He's also consciously aware of whatever frustration and/or anger in him resulted automatically from the disappointment. Furthermore, he's consciously aware of which specific person (usually the "one to blame" for the failure of his wishes and/or expectations not having been satisfied) is associated with the frustration and/or anger.
When some of Peter Powerful's wishes and/or expectations are not satisfied, he "does something" that causes the frustration and/or anger to dissipate without any residual negative effects. Peter Powerful handles frustration and anger in such a way that they don't Interfere with his Performance. For example, he applies "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (EFT) to dissipate his frustration and/or anger. This is an important reason why Peter Powerful is such a successful performer.
When Willie Weakling's wishes and/or expectations are not satisfied, he experiences a vague discomfort. Most of the frustration and/or anger is suppressed or repressed and denied. Some unpleasant consequences follow -- including disempowerment and helplessness -- as explained in The 4 Steps to Peace of Mind: The Simple Effective Way to Cure Our Emotional Symptoms by Henry Kellerman.
The "Kellerman Anger Theory" (KAT) [our term] could make a huge difference to the lives of those who apply it. Understanding and applying KAT may be a vital component of the "journey to success" for many people. A summary:
Many symptoms can be relieved and even permanently cured by by applying the "A-B-C-D Cure" above. Additional techniques can also be used:
Our interactions with thousands of people trying to make money online, during more than a decade, seem to indicate that about 98% fail miserably. They seem to suffer from a kind of "pervasive helplessness." The Kellerman Anger Theory (KAT) may explain some aspects of the causation of this pervasive helplessness. See also "Core Helplessness."
Introduction & Programs ~ Starting Out; Some Basics ~ Success Journeys ~ Accelerate Your Learning ~ Time: Your Most Valuable Asset ~ How to Feel Good All the Time ~ How to Overcome Self‑Interference ~ A Few Health Basics ~ Cause & Effect ~ Additional Articles
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