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Neo-Tech Protection Kit, Volume II

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Editor's Note

[The next Guns-and-Fists Newsletter exposes the slothful incompetence of the November-3rd empire. After offering several simple clues to the location of a safe-deposit box and its contents, the November-3rd agents, after over 17 months of deliberation, finally decided to move and then turned the wrong way and went to the wrong bank.

The following document relates this humorous story in detail. I & O then shares its marketing strategy for the worldwide dissemination of the Neo-Tech Bible. BP]

Subversion Document
supplement to
volume 2, number 8

TWO JOKES

by a
Neo-Tech Penis Collapser

Pip-Squeaks on the National Level
and
Clowns on the Local Level

Pincer A
Subverting Neocheaters on the National Level
to collapse
the instruments of evil
versus
Pincer B
Abluting Bourgeois Mysticism on the Local Level
to wash away
the support structure of evil

FOR YOUR NEXT ASSAULT
ON THE NEO-TECH VALUE PRODUCERS

To: 1. Hubert Jonathan Goodrich, November-3rd Agent of Force
2. Fred Goldberg, Future November-3rd Commissioner
3. Alan C. Nelson, outgoing INS Commissioner (As with all professional value destroyers, we will pursue you no matter where you go. We will pursue you until your demise...or until you repay in full all your victims.)

From: The Neo-Tech Jungle Bitch (INS file #A23-695-098)

Re: The November-3rd repeat subpoena to Bank of Delaware

Dear Hubert:

Your inaction had silenced us for seventeen months. Now, you have given us an opening -- a speck of action. Not enough to launch the Seven Neo-Tech Waves. But enough for some profitable, irreversible penis-collapsing progress.

Oh No, The Wrong Bank!

You bungled my easy clues. In my last correspondence to you seventeen months ago, I provided easy, explicit clues. From those clues, you could have discovered the connections between our trade names, banking activities, and taxes. I clearly explained the bank you need is on the corner, one block west, not north, of the Greenwood Bookstore in Wilmington, Delaware.

And Other Ineptitudes

First, you took seventeen months to respond to my clues. And then you turned the wrong way and went to the wrong bank. Moreover, for the second time, you served the same subpoena on that same bank. And as before, you will find nothing but dormant accounts at the Bank of Delaware. ...Such clownish performance is a sad waste of taxpayers' money.

Now, look at your record:

  1. Twenty-six months ago, I sent you a written invitation to attend our World Summit, free and without restrictions. I even invited you to bring a friend or cohort so long as he were not the matón who beat, kicked, and hospitalized our late, gentle children-and-games editor, Kenneth A. Clark. That summit detailed our past and future financial activities. ...You failed to attend!

  2. Twenty-four months ago, I sent a written invitation for you or any November-3rd representative (any conscious, nonviolent representative) to attend our monthly financial-accounting meetings. ...Again, you failed to attend!

  3. Twenty-two months ago, a certified letter containing the key to our strong box at Western Vault Company was sent to you via Gary Rogers. As that letter clearly stated, the box contained (1) our only accounting book, (2) a complete record of our activities, and (3) large denomination currency. The letter also specifically told you to use that key within ten days. Why? Because another gang of professional value destroyers were scheduled to close Western Vault in a fortnight. ...Despite those warnings in writing, the November-3rd empire never got organized enough to use the key to retrieve that crucial information. And you still have that key!

  4. Eighteen months ago, we offered to subcontract a competent accountant from your empire to consolidate and reorganize all our financial records -- covering all activities, domestic and foreign, for the past six years. Our only requirement was that the accountant be hard working and competent enough to competitively earn his or her pay. ...Thousands of accountants staff the guns-and-fists empire. But, amazingly, you provided no one!

  5. And finally, we sent you those clues about that small bank in Delaware. That bank has the information you need. And now, seventeen months later, you finally acted on those clues. But you blindly went one block north to that big WASP bank instead of one block west, as instructed, to that little dago bank. ...Damn!

Yes, we tried hard to engage you. But nothing happened. So we gave up.

Hi, Hubert!

After seventeen months, I finally heard from you. So now I'm able to write you again. For, the Kenneth A. Clark Memorial Foundation assigned you and Mr. Goldberg to my area of philosophical research for five reasons:

  1. Your previous contact with me and your sizzling relationship with Ms. K.

  2. Your criminal-minded orchestration of theft -- your outright theft of money, property, and love notes earned by innocent, hard-working value producers.

  3. Your brute-minded supervision of beatings and kickings by your cretin-like matón.

  4. My continuing experience with your farcical cohorts -- the racist value destroyers of the INS.

  5. My working knowledge of the newly aborn Neo-Tech Penis Collapsers...a burgeoning array of self-confident, spike-heeled Neo-Tech businesswomen who will increasingly tattoo laughable impotence on all professional value destroyers worldwide -- until they shrivel to nothingness in a chorus of public guffaws.

From a Handsome Caballero to an Aged Eunuch

Hubert, when I first met you over two years ago on May 6th, I saw you as a handsome caballero. You seemed out of place in that malevolent, parasitical world of destructive livelihoods. For working in those bogus-job empires is such an unmanly escape from life -- such a wimpish escape from learning to be a competent value producer competing with honest, virile, hard-driving men.

I tried to help. Our door opened wide, and I extended my hand. ...I wanted to help you enter the happy benevolent world of competitive, hard-working, value producers. Yes, you could have escaped that criminal-minded world of impotent pip-squeaks and lazy clowns afraid to exert independent effort, afraid to exert independent thinking to earn your own living by producing competitive values for others. Yes, you could have entered the business-minded world of strong men and happy women. Instead, you chose to remain in the resentful, destructive world of wimpish men and nasty women.

Yes, I was disappointed to discover that for seventeen years you had usurped a bogus livelihood as a value destroyer. All those years wasted by destroying values -- destroying precious values earned through the honest integrating minds and hard work of others. For seventeen years, you denied yourself genuine happiness, self-esteem, and romantic love. All because you never produced net values. Were you afraid to compete with real men -- honest men? That discovery made me so sick that I could hardly think about you. For, I knew how hopelessly destructive such defaults are on any human being. That self-destructiveness was confirmed when our sketch artist and I saw you just a few months later in the November-3rd lunchroom. You appeared so aged, gray, stooped, unhappy, impotent.

And now, sadly, you have allowed yourself to slide even further into that abysmal world of incompetence, destruction, sickness, and death. ...You see, no one can escape the ultimate results of reality.

Do You Still Have a Chance for Life, Happiness, Love?

Have you given up? I have not. I am going to try once again. My repeat attempt to help may seem contradictory. But, if you accept my help, you will then clearly see how I can help not only you and Nancy, but your country, and, yes, even the November-3rd Empire. ...You see, with Neo-Tech, collapsed penises can again arise.

First, Your World of Lazy, Value-Destroying Jobs

Now, I will provide further fail-proof clues to that bank in Wilmington, Delaware: The initials of the bank are C.N.B. Their main branch is in the Little Italy section of Wilmington. But the branch to investigate is downtown -- only three blocks south of the Du Pont & Nemours Buildings and one block west of the Greenwood Bookstore. The bank is owned and run by honest, hard-working value producers. But they are wops...some of them aliens. So have the INS check them out. Maybe they can find some good values to destroy. And, they might be mafioso, you know. So, have the DEA check our accounts for money laundering. Next, have Rudolph Giuliani's protégé Benito Romano check us out for RICO prosecution. Maybe he could jail us for a couple decades and then run for Mayor of New York too -- maybe even for presidente!

Next, the Prize Evidence Delivered to Your Door

And now the prize evidence: To the future November-3rd Commissioner, lawyer Fred Goldberg, I am sending the definitive record of all income for each year you are investigating. Why to Mr. Goldberg? That evidence is too valuable to be entrusted to your local office, especially considering its past record of theft, destruction, brutality, dishonesty, and incompetence as listed above. For this original-document evidence is irreplaceable. Once lost, stolen, or destroyed, it is gone forever. ...And maybe with Mr. Goldberg's help, we can finally get action to start launching the Neo-Tech waves.

And Finally, Our World of Hard-Work, Value-Producing Jobs

Hubert, I can still help you leave that nightmarish, unhappy world of parasitism and value destruction. You can still enter that other world -- the world in which people accept the responsibility of consciousness and life. The world in which everyone chooses to live as an honest, mature, value-producing human being.

From an Aging Eunuch to a Competitive Businessman

Yes, you can still abandon that lazy, mystically diseased, criminal mind that always destroys values produced by others. Instead of becoming an aged eunuch, you can still acquire that hard-working, honest, healthy, business mind. For a clean, growing business mind always produces competitive values for others...and gains wonderful, abiding, earned sexual happiness for oneself and one's spouse.

Do not be left behind in that imprisoned world of unhappiness, sickness, and death. For that world will be increasingly put out of business by the Neo-Tech Matrix and its Penis Collapsers. ...Phone or write me at the Kenneth A. Clark Memorial Foundation. I can help you.

Rosa María Meoño

AN ODE
TO A GUNS-AND-FISTS SUMMONS

lyrics by
The Waiting Waves
music by
Neo-Tech Live Arts of California

Oh, latest of two-score summonses, what do you signify?
Redundancy of seized records three years ago
Redundancy of served summonses two years ago -- a lovelorn cry
To drain a business bank, to drain honest workers

Such repetitive waste, such repetitive ineptitude
With your guns and fists, with your judges and jails
You never produce, you never grow, you never love
You only destroy, you shrink till death

Shrinking man, why choose self-hatred?
Why choose the world of living dead?
Why parade your Criminal-Investigator badge?
When you are the criminal among criminal minds

You count on fear, but there is no fear
You count on respect, but there is only disdain
Yearn for retirement, wait for death, your only escape
Value destroyers shrivel to grasshoppers, penises collapse

Grown men still in diapers, wasting time, destroying values
Childish cops-and-robbers games, James Bond pretend
Discover Italian banks, mystery names, Interpol
Cashier checks, money wires. Yet, uncover only clean souls of businessmen

We the innocent need never defend, we have no lawyers
We the value producers never hide, never conceal
Rob us, beat us, jail us -- we the clean always rise
You the begrimed fade to nothing, then gone forever

Oh, bogus-job summons, cosmic minds arise
Spurious careers can do nothing, sham jobs have no power
The sun sets upon value destroyers, good-bye forever
Evil fades to a dot, guns and fists vanish in eternal honesty

THE COLLAPSE OF BOURGEOIS MYSTICISM
from
Tiananmen Square in China to Town Square in America

FIFTY QUESTIONS
to
SUBVERT LOCAL-LEVEL, BOURGEOIS MYSTICISM
 (Re: The City-Council Meeting of May 9th and the Armed Ejection of the Neo-Tech Press)

Through future Guns-and-Fists Subversion Documents, everyone will discover the answers to the following fifty questions:

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